Controversial Staten Island post, sent in by a disgruntled correspondent

DO THE RIGHT THING
It’s wrong not to like Staten Island. But it’s true.

THE TRUTH
I don’t like Staten Island. It’s just so far away.

THE CANINE FACTOR
You have to take this ferry. Get sniffed by dogs.

THE DRUG FACTOR
They’re drug-sniffing dogs. Or so they say. Not the dogs.

A PLAN
Want to outsmart the dogs? Put drugs in your sock.

CONTROVERSIAL/HYPOTHETICAL
Then bomb the ferry. Then they won’t make you go.

THIS IS TOO MUCH
Bomb the island. Not the island... No, bomb the island.

THE YOGURT FACTOR
Put them out of their misery. I just wanted yogurt.

DON'T CALL ME "CHICK"
These girls were like, “Hey, that chick’s eating a yogurt.”

OY
You want yogurt? You want me to show you yogurt?

NO ONE TOLD US ABOUT SRI LANKAN FOOD
What do you people eat here? There’s nothing but ferry.