A review of my performance as a flash drive

Based on true events!

Hit Control-C, walked to another computer, hit Control-V. Nothing happened.

We were dancing in the Irish bar--oh, oh, oh!

A review of Jonathan Richman's show last night at the Abbey Pub in Chicago:

Oh, Jonathan, this will still be fun when you're 80.

Poor track record

300
Xerxes looks familiar—wasn't he part of Sigue Sigue Sputnik?
THE NANNY DIARIES
Beware of any story with a character named "Harvard Hottie"
MRS. SKEFFINGTON
Bette Davis channels Margaret Sullavan, and then channels Bette Davis

BECOMING JANE
Painstakingly researched dance sequence in which couples mutter barbs? Check!

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
Maxwell, Jojo, Dr. Robert—all your favorite Beatles characters, together

THE WIRE, SEASON ONE, DISC TWO
Incredible depth of characterization...intricately layered dialogue...stupefying, oppressive boredom

THE WIRE, SEASON ONE, DISC THREE
Manufactured to ensure that our Netflix flow halts for weeks

RATATOUILLE
Directions: Take name of French dish. Remove first syllable. Presto!

PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM
It takes a half hour before you realize: San Francisco?!

HOT ROD
Confused producers put Andy Samberg in vehicle for Adam Sandler

Things I'd never thought to rank.

An overheard review from a man sitting with a loud dinner party at a table near ours last night at Chicago's splendid sushi restaurant Tanoshi:

Coor's Light is the best thirty-pack you can buy.

Noise and distractions prevented me from hearing his thoughts on 24-, 12-, and 6-packs.

Seen off the Netflix queue and at ye olde cineplex

IN BETWEEN DAYS
We can review this movie in one word, actually: Mumblekorean
THE NAMESAKE
At once slow and too fast; feels like an outline
ACT OF VIOLENCE (1948)
Thought this would be better than A History of Violence...
MYSTERY STREET (1950)
Meaningless title (what street?), Montalbán lead, skull-and-mugshot freakout
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING
Loved the nightguard, the piece of skin left at theater.
THE DARJEELING LIMITED
What if they just did the whole thing in slo-mo?
THE GOLDEN COMPASS
Now I want to know what my "daemon" is. (Otter?)
HOTEL CHEVALIER
Were we supposed to watch this before or after Darjeeling?
KNOCKED UP
This movie seemed to last nine months! Blame DVD "extras."
OLD JOY
Manages to be humble yet not like anything else. Perfect.

Up Is Up, But So Is Down: A look back

Two Ten Words staffers (background) celebrate the third's book (unseen).

(Photo taken Oct. 26, 2006, by Casey McKinney)

A la Joe Brainard

I remember high school in Illinois in the mid 80s.

I remember throwing a dead woodchuck into a vacant locker.

I remember, just before a wreck: "We're gonna biff it."

I remember the kid who showed up with a rifle.

I remember smoking pot out of Coke cans. And LSD.

I remember going to see Big Black on prom night.

I was proud of that. Now I rarely mention it.

I remember the journalism teacher who moonlighted as an exterminator.

I remember the kid who stabbed another kid to death.

It was so long ago that it's not even on Google.