Post-Valentine's Issue

BREAD BASKET
By evening's end, rolls exhausted, people got English muffins.

COLOR COORDINATION MISFIRE
Thought those socks with red hearts would be a hit.

DRINKS
All taps broken except for Guinness. Feeling fat and fratty.

INACCURATELY DESCRIBED SALAD
This isn't frisée. And what are these lentils doing here?

IN LINE AT A BODEGA (IN RETROSPECT)
Guy behind me: roses and two 40's. Smart move, dawg.

ROMANTIC MUSIC
Stepped outside the death metal fixation: Neil Diamond, Sinatra, Cam'ron.

SILVERWARE
Apparently optional on some parts of the Upper West Side.

THE CHICKEN CONTROVERSY
Is coq au vin supposed to be in...red sauce?

VALENTINE'S CARDS
From stepmother, girlfriend, landlord, P.R. firms—but nothing from Shakira.

THE WRONG BILL
We didn't order this wine, and nobody here had halibut.