Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Music Issue

...AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY THE TRAIL OF DEAD
Caterwauling parallel between Mayan corn-god sacraments and ancient Babylonian texts.

BLACK METAL
Nordic genre, sure, but Californians Xasthur and Leviathan shred, dude.

KHANATE
Capture and Release
I accidentally spilled the haunted-house dust onto my stereo.

MY iPOD TODAY
The Album Leaf played as I sat in the park.

WILL OLDHAM
That warble. That beard. And he's covered R. Kelly's "Ignition."

ROLLING STONE
People for aging rockers who appreciate Bono. My stepfather subscribes.

SHAKIRA
Shimmies hips. Quotes Freud. New song sounds like the Cranberries.

UKULELE ("LANIKAI")
So much pleasure from wood, nylon, air. Warm islands beckon.

WEEZER
Muddled anger posing as the art of loving the loveless.

WHAT MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS
Part Shins, part Cursive, part Knack—it's all good, bro.

Monday, November 28, 2005

TWLS #2

BASIC HOCKEY STRATEGY: AN INTRODUCTION FOR YOUNG PLAYERS (1976)
By Richard B. Lyttle
Foreword by Harry Sinden
Illustrated with Diagrams by John Lane
"Not enough emphasis can be put on backward skating." Word.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA
(in seven volumes)
By C.S. Lewis
Cowardly Lion as Christ figure poses some hairy logistical problems.

A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME
(in 12 volumes)
By Anthony Powell
A word describing each volume would overrun our allotted space.

THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN
By Mitch Albom
Spoiler: It's Larry, Curly, Moe, Andrew Dice Clay, and Cher.

JOYCE CAROL OATES
Too prolific? Guess what: She also writes as "Elmore Leonard."

MOME
Fall 2005
"Shamrock Squid" character resembles figure on cover of Crawford's Gascoyne.

'SALEM'S LOT (Illustrated Edition)
By Stephen King
The epic, vampirific pinnacle of Maine-iacal horror maestro's early work.

SELECTED POEMS
By Federico García Lorca
Nice image for bar gamers: "The constellation of the dart"

SKINNY DIP
By Carl Hiaasen
Fun for a while, then not. Electric Charles Burns cover.

TEAM OF RIVALS
by Doris Kearns Goodwin
This book is a national bestseller. I don't know why.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The New Diacriticism, with a special emphasis on the umlaut

UMLAUT
Ah, good old "beady eyes." Beloved by The New Yorker.

ACCENT GRAVE
When it's time to get serious, use this one liberally

CEDILLA
If letters had hairstyles, this would be the rat tail.

UMLAUT (II)
Can this word exist without the diacritic it signifies? Umm...

CARON
A real turn-on when used randomly in handwritten love letters.

RING
This angelic addition derives from the petroglyph for "Swedish meatball."

TILDE
Works as a mustache—for those with small faces.

UMLAUT (III)
This double dot pushes the "u" closer to its essence.

BREVE
Key for Korean transliterations, it defies reproduction on many keyboards.

ACCENT AIGU
Everyone's favorite over many centuries, its motives are still unknown.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving: A cornucopia of holiday cheer from the Ten Words staff

CANADIAN THANKSGIVING
(second Monday in October)
Alas—we're too late. Look for a review next year.

DETROIT LIONS' ANNUAL THANKSGIVING GAME
More apropos: the Patriots vs. the Redskins or the Chiefs.

GRAVY
Transported in a "boat." The vegan version's brown, too. Why?

HOLIDAY GIVING
A popular concept, particularly relevant for those in elementary school.

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
Great floatable fun—but watch out for falling cartoon characters.

MAIZE
In Vermont: "amaizing" labyrinth with ears of corn for walls.

PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS
"Welcome!" cried an Indian—in English. So we settled here.

STUFFING
Said to be tastier than the bird it resides in.

TURKEY
Gobble, gobble, gobble. Kill. Cook. Serve. Then: Gobble, gobble, gobble.

YAMS
Are these the same as sweet potatoes? Jury's still out.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Midwestern Edition

DAVID ROASTED & SALTED SUNFLOWER SEEDS
Looks fun, but you must shell them with your tongue.

ILLINOIS
By Sufjan Stevens
Walking around New York listening to "Chicago" feels like cheating.

LAKE GENEVA, WISCONSIN
Birthplace of Dungeons & Dragons. Worth a pilgrimage—but when?

LAWN
Woah: You're big, and have flowers, pools, and sometimes trampolines.

MARSHALLS
On Iowa Marshalls' racks, Marc Jacobs hangs waiting for me.

OHIO
What's round at both ends and high in the middle?

RAIN
This rain sounds like the ocean. Or like angry wheat.

RELIGIOUS HIGHWAY SIGNS
Let's show off the Ten Commandments, or at least five.

THE STONES OF SUMMER
By Dow Mossman
A roaring pastoral freakout, now available at Barnes & Noble.

THE TWENTY-SEVENTH CITY
By Jonathan Franzen
Beware sinister connections between St. Louis real estate and terrorism

Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Leisure Issue: In which we relax and outmaneuver the mellow-harshing fates.

MASS MoCA
Huge installation pieces in an abandoned factory make us happy.

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
You'll be humming "Hey You" for days. Baldwin is ace.

VERMONT
Lots of foliage, syrup, good skiing, and racial diversity—not!

SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS
There are a lot of nerds getting married these days.

PIZZABOLLA (654 Amsterdam at 92nd)
You'll enjoy the pasta—and return for the chopped salad.

LATE AUTUMN
Damp yellow gingko leaves garnish windshields. What's not to like?

GIVING STUFF AWAY ON CRAIGSLIST
Bizarrely complicated. Attracts weirdos. But still, major shoutouts to Craig!

JOGGING
Why so cold? Go faster! I need a nose hat.

FLAUBERT'S DICTIONARY OF RECEIVED IDEAS
The ultimate in pleasure reading, or, "the art student's bible."

FORCING YOURSELF TO 'COLD CHILL'
It's like driving a racecar on a rhombus-shaped track.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

TWLS

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV
By Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Translated with varying degrees of success. Wish I knew Russian.

THE IVANKIAD
By Vladimir Voinovich
Bought at library sale. On flyleaf: "G.A. Majors '85."

KELLY LINK
Watch out: Her stories come with wings, razors, leeches, diamonds.

LEADERSHIP
By Rudolph W. Giuliani
Hope they get someone else to do the audio book.

LOVE CREEPS
By Amanda Filipacchi
A perfect specimen of that endangered creature: the comic novel.

LUNAR PARK
By Bret Easton Ellis
This one's a meta-whatever psychotic monsterpiece that'll make you cry.

VLADIMIR NABOKOV
He's as good as you thought he was years ago.

CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Sometimes I'm still not sure how to pronounce his name.

THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE, AGED 13 3/4
By Sue Townsend
I paid $1.50 for this. Best $1.50 I've ever spent!

A SPORT AND A PASTIME
By James Salter
On literature's broken-dreams boulevard, he remains the pimp's pimp.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Debut Issue

FRED ASTAIRE
"Can't act, can't sing, balding. Dances a little." Yeah, right!

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN
Anti-antidepressants for people who slow down sadness to pursue happiness.

THOMAS BERGER
His novels can be nasty, brutish, and short—and addictive.

BOOK BARN (Hillsdale, New York)
It is what it is: a barn filled with books.

BRIEF LIVES
By John Aubrey
Enigmatic and idiosyncratic biographical sketches. My copy smells of damp.

DENNIS COOPER
Each sentence groans under the weight of the following sentence.

E-MAIL
How did we live without it? Well, we wrote letters.

AGOTA KRISTOF
Makes you wonder what you're doing in an alternate reality.

ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW
It's like a tuning fork made of gold. See it.

TRUNG NGUYEN
Strangely potent Vietnamese coffee. Hard-to-decipher ingredients suggest carcinogens.